Expecting Evangeline

Our new family blog!

2009-12-09T16:46:00.001-08:00

Our new family blog is up!! Please go HERE to read more about Evangeline and the rest about the family.

Or if you'd like to read the story of adopting Evangeline ( three years old, Down syndrome) from Ukraine, go to the beginning of our story HERE.

Expecting Evangeline is moving!

2009-12-06T19:50:00.000-08:00

Expecting Evangeline is going to be folded into a new family blog I'm working on. The new 'Pocket Lint' should be ready in a few days.

Please stay tuned for the switch-over.

Thankful for Grandpa

2009-11-30T06:48:00.000-08:00

We had a great Thanksgiving weekend in Michigan with my parents.

Early on it became clear that Evangeline has a thing for her Grandpa. Whenever he was in the room she was either sitting with him or walking to him. She even tried to stand next to him and hold onto his pant leg with her pudgy little hand while he carved the turkey.

It was precious to watch.

Evie has good taste. My dad is a rock in my life and is one of the kindest people I know.

He loves his grand kids and welcomed Evie with open arms when we adopted her.

I couldn't get a great picture of them together because Evangeline likes to move but here is a picture of Evie and her buddy:

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and more importantly, a chance to actually give thanks to God for all the blessings you receive.

Pictures

2009-11-23T12:36:00.000-08:00

We had our family picture taken a few weeks ago and snuck a few in of just Evie. She's so sweet looking in all of these shots! A couple years ago she was on the Reece's Rainbow Christmas Angel Tree...and now we have her.

What a blessing...

Evangeline's IEP

2009-11-20T14:12:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we had Evie's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting at our neighborhood school. The purpose for the meeting was to determine eligibility for services for Evie in school and to decide what classroom would best meet her needs.

We've had Evangeline home for three and a half months and now she is three and we are talking preschool. Sergei and I were joined by Evie's occupational Therapist and her Early Intervention Coordinator. The school team was essentially the same group we met with a year and a half ago for Polly's IEP.

I brought cookies and a sheet of strengths and goals for Evie. It was easier the second time around to sit through a two hour meeting discussing seemingly every detail of my child's development. I realize that these meetings need to take place for services to be put in place and at the end of the day Evie is still the same little kid we love regardless of how she scores.

The consensus was that Evie will benefit from an instructional classroom setting, and she qualifies for OT, PT and ST.

Last week I had a chance to visit the instructional classroom at Polly's school. It's right next door to Polly's blended pre-K. Right now the class consists of eight students, one special ed teacher and two aids, I think. I liked the class and I liked the teacher even more. She has a wide smile and a calming demeanor.

It makes me feel better to think of her in that classroom with peers her size (the kids in Polly's class are huge!) and with her sister right next door.

We'll see what happens. All along I've been game to go through this process and see where we end up. Then the plan is to try it out and see how it works for our family.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Evie's hanging out

2009-11-12T12:09:00.001-08:00

There is a new post about Polly and her diagnosis of Moyamoya at Pocket Lint.

But I wanted to also update on Ms. Evangeline.

The time Polly was in the hospital was tough on Evie. In one week she had multiple caregivers other than Sergei and me. By the time life got back to 'normal' Evie had regressed a bit in most areas. She was back to refusing any food but baby cereal, spitting out any other texture or taste. Her eye contact was scattered again and she held her hand up to her eye a lot again. We caught her hitting her head in bed several night in a row.

Poor thing. The prior few weeks had been going a little bit better. She really responds to the sensory diet her OT laid out for us and she loves her swing. I was starting to feel a bit of a connection and felt less and less frustrated over small set backs or having to go slowly in bonding with her.

But such is life; a big thing happens in a family and everyone is off kilter for a while.

I was thankful that upon my arrival home the night we learned that Polly had Moyamoya my inclination was to find Evie and rock her. It isn't always like that nor will it be. It's a struggle to deal with Polly's new diagnosis and attempt to meet Evie where she is at. But that night it was right. I held her.

And she let me.

So we have that.

Here's Evie swinging in her swing...she LOVES it!

She even fell asleep in it last week.

Pray for Polly

2009-11-03T20:52:00.000-08:00

Polly has a big test tomorrow at the hospital.

Details are here.

Please pray!

Evangeline is three!

2009-10-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

Today is Evangeline's birthday.

I had high hopes of making it special, it being her first birthday with us.

I'm not going to act like I know what her birthdays were like in the orphanage. My inclination is that there wasn't much celebrating going on but who knows? Maybe her grandmother (who visited her regularly there in Kiev and loves her very much) brought her a present, or maybe her group of peers all got a treat and sang to her.

We'll never know.

God is showing me the longer I walk with him the more clueless I become. I constantly attempt to rebuild my little life over and over...and then like a wave splashing over the shore He comes through and washes away what I've built, asks me to focus on him and to stop trying to achieve and do and be, on my own.

Instead of a big party and lots of friends and gifts and congratulations, we had a small family party. Evie screamed and cried out of fear of the candles on the cake, the party was after church and I was tired, the other girls were hyped up on candy from the neighborhood Halloween parade. The party just wasn't working.

At one point I looked at Sergei while babies cried and kids fought and piles of chocolate chip cake looked like they were strategically placed onto various parts of the dinning room floor. I threw up my hands, and sighed.

Evie's first birthday celebration on Sunday with us was not what I had built up in my mind.

Our efforts were real. We attempted to celebrate her. In spite of all that's been happening with Polly we made room for cake and ice cream, new toys, hugs and kisses.

Honestly, though. It did not feel sincere.

This morning, on Evie's actual birthday, after Elaina and Zoya and Polly made it out to the gray minivan to leave for school, I sat down on the floor in the living room with Evangeline. The house was quiet, peaceful. After changing her, and going through her sensory diet the OT wants us to do with her every two hours (joint compressions, brushing, face stretches, chew tubes...)I slowed down long enough to see this little girl that God has asked me to mother.

We sang her favorite songs, played with birthday toys, tickled, laughed. At one point she stopped what she was doing and turned my way. She looked into my eyes, real still. She held my gaze and smiled.

Another wave, albeit different than the one that crashed over us last week with Polly's stroke and new diagnosis, washed over me this morning. The feeling of love shared between a mother and her daughter.

We are blessed.

Happy Birthday Evangeline.

I know we are still getting to know each other. But I want you to know...we love you so.

'Pray for Polly' button

2009-10-23T10:39:00.000-07:00

My friend Alicia made this button to remind us all to be praying for Polly.

Grab it here.

Grab This Button

Moyamoya

2009-10-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting week in the Marchenko household.

Last Saturday found me driving down US 131 in Michigan, the autumn tree colors glorious against the crisp blue sky. The day was breath-taking, really. It was Michigan at it's best.

I was alone, amazing in and of itself. There was no one in the backseat to ask to stop hitting her sister, I was not trying to drive with one hand and give someone a snack. The radio played what I wanted to hear, the space in my mother's borrowed red little car was clean and all mine. I also was encouraged by God. I was happy.

Earlier that morning I spoke at a women's retreat up in Holland. My text was Psalm 84 and I talked about Polly's birth in Ukraine three and a half years ago and that her diagnosis of Down syndrome devastated me and how eventually I felt that God was asking me to pull my family together and to move closer to Him, like the sparrow does in verse 3.

Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young—
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

The ending of my shaky, unpolished talk, having had to wipe my forehead of sweat far too many times to look put together, focused on my rejuvenated assurance that Jesus is not only the destination for my life (i.e. eternity with him) but also the companion.

Psalm 84 talks about pools of blessings gathered together from valleys of weeping. I stood in front of a group of women sure that God's will for our lives is good, in that moment truly confident that if we all could stay close to him, that blessings, both bitter and sweet, were sure to come.

What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord,
who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
6 When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs.
Like pools of blessing after the rains.
7 They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.

The next morning, Sunday, after visiting one of my favorite places, The Chapel, and witnessing dear friends dedicate their new little guy to God, our minivan was pointed towards Chicago. Our weekend plan was well thought out; Elaina and Evangeline stayed back with Sergei in Chicago, Lainie had a commitment on Friday night and Evie still needs to stay close to a parent at all times. Zoya and Polly, both free and up for a sleep over at Grandma's went with me to Michigan.

Polly was fussy. I attributed it to an early morning start, a large church and a new Sunday school class. At one point in the rear view mirror I noticed her shaking her head. After about a minute she stopped. And I did not think anything of it.

Thirty miles down the highway she was still crying on and off. Zoya and I decided we could all use some brunch and pulled into a Bob Evans restaurant. Polly seemed to like the idea of pancakes.

You know how you get a child out of the car and stand him or her up, threatening dire consequences if any movement is detected, and turn back to reach in and take another kid out of a seat coming and going from anywhere (there has to be a mom who is reading this that knows what I'm talking about)? Well, I got Polly out of the car after we parked in front of the restaurant, stood her up and reached back in for the diaper bag. She immediately collapsed to the ground. My awesome mommy radar; I thought I had knocked her a bit and messed up her balanced. I said sorry, she stopped crying enough to laugh at the cutesy voice I used. I scooped her up and carried her into the restaurant. Again, I didn't think anything of it.

We were seated and I quickly ordered meals for all three of us when really, the waitress was only asking about drinks. Polly started to fuss. She really just needed a good meal and some attention and she would be fine. The waitress walked off to put in our order and I got Polly out of her high chair and hugged on her in my lap.

After a couple moments her head started shaking again.

She could not stop herself.

And it clicked.

Something was wrong.

I barked at Zoya to get her coat, grab the diaper bag and follow me. Heading out the door, a manager asked if we needed an ENT. By then Polly had stopped shaking. She was breathing, coherent and interacting with me. I thanked him for his concern and herded my little half of the family under my responsibility back out to our gray minivan. Zoya was miffed that we had to leave before the pancakes came and I was angry at her for being selfish.

And I was really scared.

Once everyone was buckled into their seats, I called Sergei on the cell. Now, mind you, it was Sunday morning at approximately 10:55am. My husband is a solo pastor of a small church on the north side of Chicago. The night before the guy playing guitar for worship came down with a stomach bug and none of the other musicians were going to be there that morning. Serg had stayed up until 2am in the morning learning the songs to accompany the singers. And he had Elaina and Evie all morning during rehearsal, prayer and Sunday school.

I was calling him five minutes before the service was going to start.

"Serg, I don't mean to bother you but....(crying now), something's wrong with Polly."

As I explained to Sergei the shaking, and how she collapsed and how upon our return to the car she would not bear weight, nor could she move her right leg at all, Polly's head started to shake again. This time her leg was kicking out too. She couldn't stop herself.

I started to cry harder.

I imagined my husband standing in the foyer of the building; church members and visitors trickling in. Him giving silent nods and tight-lipped smiles, making eye contact and trying to focus on the phone with me and understand what in the world his petrified wife was telling him from Michigan City, Indiana.

"OK, Gillian, is she breathing?"

"Yes."

"Coherent?"

"Uh, huh."

"Interactive?"

I looked back at Polly and asked her if she was alright?

"No," she whispered as her head continued to shake.

The shaking finally stopped. I asked her to kick her feet. She only could kick her left leg.

"Drive home, Gillian. You've got 50 miles. Come home and we'll take her to the ER at Children's."

I hung up with Sergei and asked Zoya to pray with me. Polly bowed her head before I closed my eyes to ask God for his help. Dear, sweet girl.

I sped home, the next hour went by quickly. Watching Polly out of the rear view mirror I tried to figure out what in the world just happened. I knew that she had some kind of incident three times, all lasting about a minute, involving her head and leg to shake involuntarily. And now, she could not move her right leg, at all. Her right arm seemed fine albeit a bit slower than the left.

We got to Chicago and I brought Polly into the house. She kept trying to walk and repeatedly fell down.

Sergei rushed over about ten minutes after our arrival and Polly and I were once again in the car headed to the ER at Children's Memorial Hospital.

After about four hours in the emergency room, we were told that Polly had three seizures causing the temporary paralysis of her leg. By then Sergei was there with us, he found a friend from church to come over and stay with the kids.

The neurologist who saw Polly decided to admit her overnight for observation. And on Monday they wanted to do an EEG and an MRI to find out what was going on.

I went home Sunday night alone, leaving Sergei laying next to Polly in a hospital bed watching Word World on PBS.

Monday morning at 8:30am Evie and I were back up to the hospital. After a quick visit for Evie and Polly Sergei took Evie back home and I started my day shift with Polly.

She had an IV in and was not allowed to eat or drink anything, nor was she allowed to sleep. No food for the MRI, no sleep for the EEG. The day was long but Polly was a trooper. We talked and sang songs. I so enjoyed her laying on me, breathing her in. The pleasure of having her with me, at peace, was intense. I prayed throughout the day that Jesus would keep her well and safe.

After a very long day, Polly managed to have both tests completed. She was put under general anesthesia for the MRI and I sat in the cafeteria and ate some dinner; the first food of the day. I didn't want to eat in front of Polly. I watched other parents in the cafeteria, trying to imagine what brought them there.

Later Monday night Polly woke for the anesthesia, Sergei was with us and we were told the results of Polly's tests.

Moyamoya.

What a shock.

We had no clue what that was. I had heard of it on my Down syndrome boards on-line here and there but all I really knew about it was that you don't want your kid to have it.

The Doctor explained that it had to do with blood vessels in Polly's brain progressively narrowing, resulting in strokes. The disease worsens with age. And the only way to combat it is brain surgery.

On Tuesday we met with the surgeon qualified to do what Polly needs. He walked us through what an indirect by-pass would look like for Polly; basically it will create new blood vessels providing adequate blood flow.

Polly stayed in the hospital, commanded to lay flat for the next day and a half and we got to bring her home yesterday (Wednesday). We have to wait four weeks after the stroke for surgery. It will probably be mid-november. And there will be two surgeries. One for each side of the brain.

We still have a lot to learn about Moyamoya. But for now we wait, and pray, earnestly, that she will not have any more seizures or complications or strokes in the next few weeks.

Unbelievably, Sergei and I feel like God was preparing us for this. These last few months I have been spiritually dry; emotionally depleted as we've attempted to get Evie the help she needs and get to know her. The women's retreat forced me to read scripture and pray. In preparation of my talk God reminded me of Polly's story; of tears and struggle and depression. And later of the pure joy and sunshine that Polly has brought to our lives. God reminded me that he's walked with us through that experience and that he is with us for whatever comes.

But I didn't think something else was coming quite so quickly. Like, the next day.

We appreciate prayer for Polly.

And pray that I will have enough wisdom in this sitaution to trust God and to walk with him; to gather up my family and once again move closer to him, to the throne of grace, for all of our sakes.

Moymoya? Really?

10 A single day in your courts
is better than a thousand anywhere else!
I would rather be a gatekeeper in the house of my God
than live the good life in the homes of the wicked.
11 For the Lord God is our sun and our shield.
He gives us grace and glory.
The Lord will withhold no good thing
from those who do what is right.
12 O Lord Almighty,
what joy for those who trust in you.

Chugging along

2009-09-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a pic I snapped of Ms. Evangeline today

In general I am trying to take a bit of a break from my on-line pursuits in an effort to find my ducks and attempt to put them into some sort of row at home. Last week I realized just how much time I actually spend on-line every day and decided to try to unplug a bit to balance things out.

Caring friends emailed me encouraging me not to close up. Some assumed it was depression which makes sense. I've battled post-partum depression after the birth of my three other girls. And it's no secret that adding Evangeline to our family has proved to be more difficult than expected.

But I actually decided to take a break from facebook and other forums because I found in myself the desire to connect with people in real life. And I need the time spent surfing the net to manage our six busy lives right now (OK, five. Serg does alright for himself.) It is just way to easy to sit in front of the computer and click and click and click.

It's going well! I am getting more done. I feel productive. I am having more conversations with the older girls and more tickle fights with the younger girls.

We are chugging along, getting to know one another in this circle of six.

"You're doing it wrong"

2009-09-09T11:52:00.001-07:00

Evangeline's three sisters; Elaina, Zoya and Polly started school yesterday (thank God, finally!).

My husband and I split up in the morning to get the kids where they needed to go; three different classrooms, two different schools. Evie went along with Sergei as he walked Elaina and Zoya and Polly and I hopped in our silver boring mini-van that as it happens, I actually rather love, and drove a few miles to her school.

Last year I rarely took Polly to school. Sergei did the drop off before heading to work and I was on pick-up. So yesterday I took Polly where I would usually pick her up, the back door of the cafeteria. We stood at the locked door and knocked for a few moments. Then I peeked through the window and got someone's attention from the cafeteria. As the woman opened the door she told me that we need to drop off through the front door of the school. OK, makes sense.

I made a mental check in my head.

Polly was stoked to be back in her classroom with her teacher, 'Miss Ba Ba.' After a little while I found myself generally uninvited in her school area and took advantage of my good fortune to exit. Walking out the front door there was a different lady passing out forms to students.

"Can I get a form?" I asked.

"These are for kids."

"I know, I just dropped my daughter off in preschool."

"Oh, I didn't see you come in..." she said, now sizing me up and down.

"We came through the back door," I said shyly, kicking a rock with my foot.

"You did it wrong."

I KNOW!

I KNOW!! I DID IT WRONG...

"OK, I'll drop her off in front tomorrow. May I have the forms?"

The important paper lady passed me a couple sheets of paper. I turned and walked down the sidewalk towards my car.

You're doing it wrong.

Remember that movie, 'Mr. Mom?' It was school drop off and Michael Keaton drove into the exit to drop off his kid in the rain.

Well, that's how I felt yesterday.

An more importantly,that's how I've felt since bringing Evangeline home.

You're doing it wrong.

I have this sinking feeling in my stomach that I am not doing all I can for Evie or that what I am doing is wrong.

The good news is I know with time a maternal instinct for her is bound to take over, that I'll be able to tell if she's hungry or sad or tired or if I should hold her tighter when she tries to move away or let her go.

Until then, I'll continue to do different things and as I pull into exits with Evie, I am prepared to back out and try again.

Her Dedication

2009-08-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

Today we had Evangeline's baby dedication at church.

It's hard enough for me to believe I am a mother of four. But when I think about what it took for Evie to become a part of our family; all the paperwork and money and seven weeks in Ukraine and prayer and worry.

Such a huge struggle for us. All insurmountable to God.

As we stood in front of our church family and friends and my family who came from Michigan to be with us; Sergei prayed for Evie in Russian and used anointing oil to bless her eyes and ears and hands and feet and speech to God.

Three and a half years ago, after Polly was born, I cried through her baby dedication at our church in Michigan. I had no idea what God was doing with our lives; I struggled to imagine myself successful as a mother to a child with 'special needs.' At the time, I honestly thought that my life was robbed of future happiness.

I had a lot to learn.

Today, Sergei's sermon was about adoption; how we, as believers, are adopted into God's family through Christ.

And during the time of dedication as I held on to sleepy Evie and as Elaina tried her best to look as old as possible (she's turning nine next month); and as Zoya stood staring down at her feet and Polly tried to overthrow Sergei's position of pastor at the pulpit; I watched my husband pray for this new daughter of our heart; born of another womb...

and I was thankful.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds. These past few weeks I've struggled with mustering a mother's love for Evie while appeasing my older girls with crafts and walks to the park on the corner, during these last, long summer days and I've made deals with Polly in order to spend time getting to know Evangeline.

Each day comes with it's own messiness and I, like the next lady staying at home with her kids down the street, lose my composure hourly, always wishing I was a better mother and yet, coming to terms with the woman standing in front of her children today.

But I'm still thankful, even though I am so not who I want to be and sometimes my kids are not who I want them to be either.

We have health and a strong roof and each other.

Today, our prayer of dedication of Evie for me, really, was once again telling God that although his plan has not, at times, been ours; we are here, ready, and in spite of washing up pretty and singing loudly at church we are wishing like hell that we can become more like him.

And I truly believe that bringing Evangeline home with us will help us in that pursuit and more importantly, for whatever reason, it's what God has asked us to do.

Today, I was able to dedicate Evie to the Lord with happiness.

That means a lot.

Evie's on the move!

2009-08-21T18:23:00.000-07:00

Last night Evangeline crawled over to a push toy, stood up and walked across the room with it.

Tonight I stood her up a little bit away from me, and very tentatively, she walked four shaky steps to me.

I'm telling you...this girl is strong...and she is on the move!

She should be walking with courage soon, I suspect.

Still here

2009-08-17T18:27:00.000-07:00

I loved following other adoption blogs but always got upset when the family would come home with their new child and fall off of the face of the blog earth.

"I'm going to post just as much when I get home," I resolved.

Yea, right.

Three weeks. We've been home three weeks. Elaina and I still look at each other about once a day stating that we're tired. Sergei is gladly back to work full-time although he has been very sweet to be home here and there with kids for Evie's doctor appointment and he takes them all for a play date at the park once in a while to give me a break. Our bags are finally unpacked. And our social worker comes tomorrow for our first post-placement visit. Wednesday a team of therapists from Early Intervention will come to evaluate Ms. Evangeline in order to get her therapy schedule in place. Time is of the essence here...she ages out at the end of October.

Polly is tolerating me but still prefers Sergei to meet her needs. Although the first few days, she wouldn't let me go. It's OK, it's sweet that she is so attached to her Papa and I know she's coming around. She and I have been enjoying a nap here and there and it's been wonderful.

Zoya is doing well. She especially does a great job including Evangeline in whatever game is going on at the time and she loves to walk Evie around the house holding her hands.

Another reason why I haven't posted much upon coming home is that I've been thinking a lot about balance. I want to be honest about our transition; about Evangeline and how I think we are bonding. I want to be positive and honest and helpful to the next family finishing out the traveling part of their adoption adventure. And I'm trying to think how to do that.

I guess what I can say today is that we are thrilled to have Evie in the family and we see a lot of improvement in her since she came home.

But there are also struggles; I don't feel like she and I are bonded well yet, she still prefers to be alone, her eating is taking a downward turn and I honestly, I experienced quite a bit of impatience and anger. Sometimes I just want her to want me. But I know that will take time.

My job is to love her, to love all my kids.

And wait and see how all of this is going to work out.

I plan to keep this adoption blog going for a while longer to better chronicle this part of the adoption road. Later on I'll see about putting Pocket Lint and this blog together into something new.

Stay tuned.

Sisters

2009-07-28T17:04:00.001-07:00

We are doing well! Of course, Polly is trying to crawl back into my womb and today I took a nap with her and as she fell asleep she said over and over, "mom, home."

Evie is mad that we are not giving her home-made soup for every meal, but she is adjusting. She is sleeping well and tolerating her sisters and enjoying play time with mom and dad.

Today, Elaina and Zoya went to Michigan to spend some time with cousins in from California at Grandma's house and I am planning to enjoy the next few days with the two little ones. I also need to do some unpacking.

I have posts in my mind that need to be written...about the first night home with Evie...post-orphanage behavior...feelings as a mother of four...worries about how in the world I'm going to do this...

But for now, I leave you with this picture of all four Marchenko girls together...happy...and together.

We're home!!!

2009-07-26T13:20:00.000-07:00

We are home!

Unfortunately, our camera battery died after just one picture and the guy taking it cut half of Evie's head of. But the memory will live on...after a long and tedious day Elaina and I cried as we hugged the rest of the family! Sergei gave me roses and had dinner ready. Polly was so excited and Zoya and Elaina took off to play as soon as we walked in the door. This morning the only thing Polly wanted to do was sit next to 'Wevie' and hold her hand.

Evie did very well during the trip. She slept for a while on the plane and laughted as turbulence bounced us around over Lake Michigan.

I am so happy to be home and it was great seeing everyone at church this morning. Altogether I was in Ukraine for just over 7 weeks. Wow, we're really home!

(oh, and our blog is public again!)

Have passport, will travel

2009-07-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

We got Evie's passport this afternoon and are waiting to hear of available flights to leave on Saturday! WOHOO!! Getting close...finally.

I have so much to write about and I hope to get to it soon. For now, I'm off to check on flights.

Passport started

2009-07-20T22:11:00.000-07:00

I just have a minute...but wanted to update.

Yesterday, we started Evie's passport but for some reason instead of the usual turnaround we were told we would not receive the actual passport until Friday. Another delay!

Once I found out I did what any respectable Christian walking by faith would do...I burst into tears. That got my facilitator on the phone, asking for favors, trying to figure out if he could get the passport by Wednesday somehow so that we can leave Thursday as scheduled.

So, we wait to see...in the meantime the American Embassy is letting us get a head start on Evie's visa and today I get to see my friends experience 'gotcha day', taking their kids out of the orphanage forever.

What a privilege.

If we don't get the passport on Wednesday I will once again change our tickets...there is a hope we could still fly out this weekend.

Also, please pray...Sergei's Aunt died on Saturday night. So his mom is very much involved in helping her brother prepare for the funeral. Pray for Sergei's cousin and uncle and the rest of the family in this time of grief.

Thanks so much.

We got the code!

2009-07-17T07:31:00.001-07:00

Thank God, the code came through today. So, God willing we will start the passport Monday and be on our way home at the end of next week.

Thanks so much for your prayers.

We are happy!

Count your blessings

2009-07-14T10:52:00.001-07:00

Tonight marks another day of waiting for some mysterious code needed for Evie's new paspport, a code that apparently we have but still need a confirmation letter to prove it. We have been waiting for this piece of the adoption puzzle here in Kiev since last Wednesday.

God willing, the confirmation will be there tomorrow and we can get a start on the passport. Our facilitator's helper says that the passport can take two to four days, which mean we probably are not flying out Friday as planned. Best case scenario, we get the passport Thursday and still have to do a medical exam and get an American visa before we can fly. As I am trying to wrap my head around another weekend away from family, a probable lost opportunity to spend at least a couple of days with one of my dearest friends who is in Chicago, staying at my house as I type this and who is also leaving Sunday afternoon (I so wanted to meet her third child for the first time!) and rounding the corner on week five of staying with my mother-in-law and Sergei's brother and my children in a two bedroom apartment, I am forced tonight to count my blessings. It's either that or go crazy.

So here they are:

*I have a new daughter, whom I'm head over heels in love with, who already looks around for me and has started to babble the word 'mama.'

*We've been able to stay at my MIL's for the duration of our Kiev adoption, rent free with some home cooked meals thrown in.

*I speak Russian, therefore I've been able to get around the city fine and was able to talk with the orphanage workers at Vorzel and in so doing helped to get three new kids' pictures up for adoption at Reese's Rainbow!

*I've spent some great time with close Ukrainian friends here.

*My husband misses me so much he has started to write me love letters.

*Also, my husband is a wonderful father with a flexible job, enabling him to care for Zoya and Polly and work in my abscence.

*I have really enjoyed getting to know the other moms adopting with RR in Kiev right now, and look forward to continuing our friendships stateside.

*Some of our best friends and teammates, the Bakers, returned to Kiev recently from the States and Lainie is spending the night there tonight with her buddy, Marina...which means fun for her and a little more quiet for me.

*I feel completely justified eating chocolate every day here b/c to get anywhere to and from the apartment is an uphill walk. And my pants are a little loose!

*I have a laptop and internet access.

*I am a child of God, and he is in control. He is still on the throne in this situation and he has called our family to adopt Evie...we're going to get through this!

Thunder Storms

2009-07-12T12:01:00.000-07:00

Today was our last day of four days of waiting...tomorrow, God willing, we will have Evie's orphanage code changed for some document, enabling us to move forward with her passport, medical visit and visa and home. Oh, how I wish and pray that it is so tomorrow.

We had a birthday party for Sergei's mom today...I was sick on her actual birthday on Friday. It was a great celebration. Right before we sat down to eat a thunderstorm rolled in. I grabbed Evie and held her and rocked her.

Two weeks ago, while in Kiev, we had an even more horrific storm, the kind that turns from blue skies to black in the blink of an eye...and I thought of my baby in the orphanage, alone, rocking, afraid.

What a blessing that she was with family tonight...and that she will from here on out, be with family. Thank God we have her!

Appreciate prayers for the code tomorrow!

Thanks!

We didn't get the code

2009-07-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your prayers.

But our facilitator was not able to get the needed code for us to move forward.

So we wait, I think, till Monday and God willing we will have it then and be able to fly home next week.

I'm disappointed but am trying to keep the faith that God's timing is perfect and we already have our girl!!

Say a prayer?

2009-07-08T07:01:00.000-07:00

I just got back from getting Evie's new birth certificate with her new name. Our facilitator hopes to get a needed code this afternoon, and if he does, there is a chance we will be able to fly home this weekend.

Please pray for this!!

I'll find out in a few hours!

Thanks...

Waiting...

2009-07-07T00:33:00.000-07:00

SO much of this adoption process has been us hurrying up to then again, wait. Now that we have Evie here with us at my mother-in-law's apartment, I was hoping that yesterday we would start the paperwork needed for the American Embassy to take her home. But nope, yesterday the first place of business was closed. So today I've been ready and waiting since 9am for my facilitator to call. Well he called, and said there was some little problem with a signature and he was on his way to another town to try to rectify the situation. So we sit and wait.

I was really hoping that we could leave this coming Saturday, July 11th but if the embassy process does not start today (i.e. passport, visa, medical) I don't really think that is a reality I can hope for. I'm taking a deep breath, praying, hugging our girl and trying to help Elaina not to be too bored and... waiting.

Please pray with me that we can get the needed signature today. Elaina and I are homesick and we can't wait for Polly and Evie to meet each other.

Thanks so much for your prayers.

And an Evie update: she is doing well; loves to eat (almost too much), has fun going out on walks twice a day, LOVES the stroller and every day we are getting more smiles and eye contact and giggles. Sergei saw her on SKYPE yesterday and was surprised at how different she looked and acted. I am so loving getting to know our daughter! And my mother-in-law and bro-in-law are both helping so much. MIL is making a bunch of Ukrainian food for Evie, stuff she got at the orphanage and BIL took Elaina out on a little excursion yesterday to a park. She met some other American kids there and they played a long time. It was just what Elaina, who was starting to feel every so slightly left out with all the fuss over Evie, needed.

Gotcha Day came early!!!

2009-07-03T11:16:00.000-07:00

As I write this Evie is sleeping in the other room.

What a day!

I went to visit Evangeline today like I have been doing for the last three weeks.

The visit itslef was very emotional and interesting...that will be the next post.

But at the end of our time our facilitator called me and asked me if we would like to take Evangeline home today. TODAY!

I said yes, of course, we'll take her.

Not that I was prepared...her cute little gotcha day outfit lay nicely back at my mother-in-laws apartment, I had no goodbye gifts for the workers, no diapers, zip.

But we stopped by a store and bough some chocolate and at the orphanage asked the workers for an outfit and within ten minutes out came my little girl, ready to leave the only place she's ever known forever with only the clothes on her back and her mother's arms.

She did well in the car, slept a little and looked quietly around. At home she was spooked a bit by the elevator but brightened up in the apartment when she saw Elaina and Babushka. We played for a while and then she ate cream of wheat and mashed up apple. She ate great!

After a while I gave her a bath and true to most Reese's Rainbow kids she did not.like.that.at.all.

Out of the bath she got a quick massage in order to get some lotion on her dry dry skin. I brushed her teeth a little bit, looks like for the first time ever. She hated that even more than the bath and right away her mouth was full of blood. She grinds her teeth badly I think and we are definitely going to have some dental issues when we get home.

At 8:30pm I laid down with her to try to get her to sleep. She moved away from me at once and started what I assume to be her orphanage routine to sleep. I was not allowed to be near her nor touch her. She rocked back and forth on her stomach over and over and after a while fell flat down on the sheets to sleep a little. After a few minutes the routine would repeat. She has a bump in the middle of her forehead and at the orphanage I've seen her bump her head against her crib. I was glad at least that she wasn't doing that.

I let her self soothe tonight after such a traumatic afternoon.

And tonight I will dream of the night when she looks to me for comfort instead of having to do it for herself.

Overall, I think our first evening went well.

Oh how I love this little girl.

Pretty girl

2009-06-30T03:42:00.000-07:00

Baby steps

2009-06-29T05:40:00.001-07:00

Yesterday (Sunday) Elaina and I went out to Vorzel to see Evangeline for our usual morning visit.

Towards the end of the visit we scored a blanket to sit on and play outside. Evie loved playing with toys and she was crawling all over the place. Then she started to pull up to stand and would let go for a few seconds. It was awesome! Elaina and I decided to try to get her to take a few steps between us. Evie was thrilled with the opportunity and she managed to take a step or two a few times on her own!!

I can't wait till we get her home...I'm sure we're going to see a lot of progress in many areas of her development in no time.

After our visit with Evie we went with other Reese's Rainbow families to the catacombs at the Pechersk Lavra (a huge monestary in the city). It was scorching hot and quite a quest to actually find the catacombs but everyone involved were great sports and we had lots of laughs. After the Lavra we hit an outdoor festival and I had fun helping folks buy some gifts for friends and family back home. The only problem was that the festival was celebrating Ukrainian culture specifically and none of the vendors were too happy when I asked them to speak with me in Russian instead of Ukrainian. But the prices were great and my daughter loved the steady flow of Fanta on a hot day and I loved walking around our old neighborhood (we lived right down the street from the Lavra our last year and a half in Ukraine).

Then last night I met up with my dear friend Riya. The plan was to meet at a McDonalds at a certain Metro stop. The only problem was that I went to the wrong place, so it took us a few phone calls and another Metro ride for me to find her, but once we were together it was a great time.

God willing, this time next week we'll be picking up Evie from the orphanage and starting the process to get her paper work in order to bring her home! WOW!

11 years!

2009-06-27T12:29:00.000-07:00

Today Sergei and I are celebrating our 11th year wedding anniversary, he in Chicago with Zoya and Polly and 90 degree weather and air conditioning and me in Kiev with Elaina and Evie and 90 degree weather and lack there of, of air conditioning.

11 years ago who would have thought that I'd be sitting here in the apartment of his childhood getting ready to go to sleep for the night while he would be half way around the world, back in my neck of the woods trying to corale kids to take a nap in order to finish a rather tightly conjured sermon for tomorrow's service.

Elaina and I walked around downtown Kiev today and met Sergei's brother Nic for lunch. Tonight with a dinner of left over salad and chocolate ice cream Elaina and I clinked glasses, hers being store bought water and mine, a chilled glass of white wine.

Happy Anniversary to us. God has done more with us these past eleven years than I could have ever imagined. We've moved eight times in our married life; two apartments in Chicago, one apartment in Coloma, MI, then a short stint with my parents, then to Kiev with a nine month old and a two-and-a-half year old first to his mom's two bedroom apartment, then to our own apartment on the other side of town, another move in Kiev to a different location for church planting, then back to the States when Polly was born with Down syndrome and finally, for now, we've landed back in Chicago at Christian Fellowship Church.

I realize that with life comes the unexpected. I am greatful to God for my husband, for our love and laughter and for our hope for the future and even for the fact that we have no idea what's to come. My husband is my best friend, a great father, a humble shepherd and strong leader. And I get to see first hand that what he preaches from the pulpit on Sundays is what he lives out in his day to day life.

And he loves me...

I am blessed.

This picture of him with Evie says it all. He loves her so much already...

Happy Anniversary buddy...I love you.

Two days down, eight to go...

2009-06-26T04:11:00.000-07:00

But it will probably end up being ten more days altogether before Evie's gotcha day because the ten day wait is up on a Saturday and we need a letter from court to get her. So right now the plan is to pick up the court decree and Evie on Monday, July 6th. I am waiting to find out how many days after that we'll need to finish up and catch a flight back home. Would love prayer that things would happen quickly and that we'd be able to leave the weekend of July 11th. Now that Evie is 'ours' and that Sergei and Zoya are home and plan to pick up Polly from grandma's house today, I am very close to being ready to go.

It's been hard these last two days visiting Evie, knowing she is ours and still following all the caregivers orders and then giving her back after the visit.

But soon, very soon...

And even though I already miss Sergei and Zoya and I still miss Polly, it's such a neat time to spend just with Elaina. She is so tender with Evie and all the other kids in her groupa, she makes me laugh and she is up for anything. What a great kid.

Today, she was on camera duty. She got a few cute shots!

Evangeline is ours!!!

2009-06-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

By the grace of God, we are now the proud parents of Evangeline Sergeyevna Marchenko! Thank you Lord!!!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Court this morning went very well! We were their at 9am sharp with our facilitator, the judge, the district attorney, and the director of the Vorzel orphanage. Once we were called in and seated, the judge talked for a while in Ukrainian. Between that and nerves I didn't understand a thing. Knowing that I'd be asked questions, I willed myself not to tear up. The judge talked to Sergei first, asking him why we want to adopt a child with Down syndrome, what programs are available to help her in the States, what do our other children think about the adoption. Sergei was nervous as well, so he answered most everything in Russian which helped me to follow along. He told the judge that we believe God has called us to bring Evie into our family.

After his turn the judge called on me. I stood up with the interpreter and the first question to me was if I agreed with everything my husband just said. I said rather loudly in Russian "sto percentov" which means 100%. Everyone chuckled and smiled that I answered in Russian. The judge proceeded to ask me if I was prepared to care and love for Evie...and then the tears flowed. She talked and I cried and once in a while I whispered "kanyeshna" (of course I will) in Russian. The judge told me that I did not need to say another word. My tears spoke strongly enough about my heart as Evangeline's mother. We were asked to sit back down and my head spun...there we were, becoming Evie's parents officially.

I was once again giving birth in Ukraine.

The judge although firm, was very nice and was very glad to see a Ukrainian in this position.

So much is going through my head right now but I have to run and help Sergei and Zoya pack for their trip back to Chicago tomorrow.

I will write more later...I am on cloud nine!!!

So happy today!

2009-06-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

Today was a great visit with Evangeline. She was with her groupa outside when we came, laying with other kids in the wooden giant playpen they use.

And when she saw us she started whimpering and as soon as Serg got to her, her little arms lifted up to him and she laughed and laughed.

That set the tone for the whole day!

Evie was in a happy, playful mood. She gave us lots of hugs. We walked a lot and she spent time on her ball as usual. We also sang through all of Polly's favorite songs and she laughed and smiled. Such a difference from our last visit.

And we enjoyed it.

Tomorrow morning is court! Prayers appreciated!!

Our weekend

2009-06-22T07:04:00.000-07:00

(Evie's comb is the green one in the middle)

Saturday we spent the night with my good friend and her family who live in a house outside of the city. Alyona and I were very close friends when we lived in Kiev and have managed to keep in touch after our move back to the States. We were pregnant together last time and our kids, Polly and Mark, are just three weeks apart. After Polly came and we decided to move, Alyona and Dima took basically our whole existence of stuff packed up in boxes and stored them in their attic.

We ate outside in their beautiful yard, enjoyed wonderful company, ate fresh veggies from the garden, drank fresh cow's milk Alyona buys from a babushka down the street and throughout the day went through box after box of Marchenko stuff. The girls and I were thrilled to find baby books and our wedding album. We found some toys to donate to Evie's orphanage and several more boxes of things to pass on to others. Other things like dishes and kitchen stuff are going to stay in the attic at our friends' house for a while longer. But we cut our belongings in half. Sergei found quite a few books he's missed back in the States. The plan is to take a few rubbermaids back with us on the plane.

Sunday Alyona and her daughter Daniella drove us over to see Evie. She was feeling much better than Friday and had fun walking around with us and playing with the girls.

I still feel like she has her guard up around us which is quite understandable. Our favorite care-givers were there that day and they let us spend some time with the groupa in their playroom. I was allowed to get pictures of where Evie sleeps, her comb, her cupboard space. It's important for me to get pictures of the place Evie called home for over two years.

Today we went to the American Embassy so Sergei could sign forms we need from him before he leaves for the States. We also met up with Sergei's father for a bit at a park today and took the girls around Kiev. Tomorrow we will visit Evie and Wednesday we have court to make Evangeline our legal daughter. Then early Thursday morning, Sergei and Zoya will leave for home. It's going to be a busy week!

(me with Evie and my friend Alyona...she's expecting her third in a few weeks)

(Sergei and the girls with Dedyushka (grandpa) Sasha)

(Lainie and Zoya in front of St. Sophia Church in Kiev)

Friday's visit

2009-06-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

We got to spend two hours with Evie today! It was really nice to be with her longer although she wasn't feeling very well and ended up needing to be changed several times. Her stomach's upset and the care-givers thinks it could be new teeth coming in. I'm happy to report my mommy radar has turned on just fine and I suspect some kind of little bug may be going through her system. Of course, I could be totally wrong. We're going to call later to check on her.

And we know for sure now that court to make Evie our legal daughter will be Wednesday morning. That will be a busy day because after court we have to run around Kiev and finish up all the paper work that Sergei needs to sign off on before he and Zoya leave Thursday for the States. I am dreading them leaving...I'm gonna miss my hubby!

Here's a few shots of our visit today...our girl doesn't feel the best.

A Scratchy Day

2009-06-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

What a day! We were picked up at 8:30am and taken to the SDA to wait for two other American families to get their referrals to meet their children. We waiting a long time and I was worried for the families. I knew how much they wanted to meet their kids.

Finally we were able to go on to Vorzel. When we got to Evie it was almost lunch time. We spent about 25 minutes with her. Evie got excited when she saw me and she had a huge scratch on her cheek. Her care-givers said she had scratched herself before we arrived, that all mroning she had been a bit fussy and agitated. The scratch was long and deep. It made us sad to see the wound.

Evie loves to walk holding on to our hands and we spent most of our time walking around the yard, letting her guide the way but kind of ushering her toward the other baby house so we could see how our other American friends were fairing meeting the children they were there for.

And she surprised us today! At one point during our visit, she was with Sergei and looked around for me. When she saw me, she said 'mama.' I can assure you electric rippled through my limbs. My eyes teared up. I grabbed her from Serg and took her off to sing some of Polly's favorite lullabies to her while she nestled into my neck.

I think Evie has a lot to show us.

A few thoughts...

2009-06-16T23:32:00.000-07:00

Today when I woke up I must have looked like I felt, because Sergei told me that I needed to stay home today from visiting Evie, that he and Lainie and Zoya would do the Metro and bus thing and visit her today. On one hand I felt guilty and a tinge of sadness that I won't see her today and on the other hand I was relieved because, well, I'm tired lol! So after breakfast my brave little family took off to trek out to Vorzel and I am having a quiet, slow paced morning and gearing up for some more meetings with friends this afternoon and tonight. I will definitely be out to see Evie the rest of the week.

Since I have time to catch my breath this morning I wanted to share a bit more about meeting Evie. Back in the States I tried to prepare myself; realizing that Evie has been in an orphanage for two and a half years and that she probably is more delayed then Polly (obviously). Friends and family would ask me about her, how delayed is she? Does she have any medical issues? Can they tell yet if she's 'high functioning'? I would confidently answer that of course, we are expecting her more delayed due to her upbringing so far and I'd also try to educate people that individuals with Down syndrome are just that; individual, therefore we can't really place them in boxes of functionality etc...it's not fair to do it, especially in Evie's case when she as of yet has not had the benefits of therapy and better health care. It was so easy for me to talk openly and confidently about this from across the ocean.

And then I met her. My heart pulled my body towards her when we met; that's for sure. When her care-giver brought her into the room my arms automatically reached up for her before my brain could even think it. The first day was magical, but I also noticed she can't sit up for very long, that her muscle tone is low, that she is not speaking, that she'll keep eye contact only for short intervals. My confident speeches were forgotten and honestly, I got a little scared.

I was so angry with myself for feeling this way. I was ashamed. All along, this adoption, coming back to Ukraine for Evie has been kind of a redemption of sorts for me. Most of you know when I had Polly it took almost a year for me to really bond with her and to see passed disability and fear, instead to accept her love and the joy and promise she brings to my life.

This time was going to be different.

Redemption.

This time I was not going to get scared, I was going to keep my wits about me; realizing that Evie will probably be a completely different person a year from now, after the utilization of therapy and medical care, after the constant kiss on her brow from a mother. This time I was going to accept her right away and pour on the love and stay grounded in the knowledge of what's to come.

But alas, I've already had a few doubts, she is unsure of me and I guess, I am unsure of her.

I am not unsure of adopting her. I am already claiming the stake in the ground God has given me...and I know with time, as we get to know each other, whatever fear I have will be poured into the melting pot of emotions that cooks love between a mother and her child.

I am escatic that we are here adopting Evie. But I also wanted to make sure you are aware of all the emotions going into this. It's not easy...it can definitely be scary to meet your child for the first time, this little person you have idealized in your head still has stinky diapers and still needs lots of help to reach her God-given potential. I am still going to wrestle with fear and doubt because I am human. And I am still going to stay close to Jesus and the promises he's given me, that perfect love casts out fear, because I am his, adopted into God's family like we are adopting Evie...I am sure God saw way less potential in me when he brought me home with him.

A long ways away!

2009-06-16T05:21:00.000-07:00

Today we went to see Evie Ukrainian style! First we walked to the Metro near Serg's mom' house, took the Metro five or six stops, switched lines and then took that line to the end. Then we walked a bit to catch a Marshutka...a van/small bus that acts like a taxi...it costs 5 grivnahs to ride from Kiev to Vorzel. The whole trip took about an hour and a half.

This chubby American accustomed to cars and personal space is tired! But we got to see our girl! And yes, my new minivan is sounding pretty good right now.

We won't do the Metro/Marshutka that much, thanks to friends with cars, rides from our facilitator and plans to split taxi costs with other RR families who've come to adopt from Vorzel.

Here's a picture of Evie today. She was quite stuffed up and a little fussy today. I think she may be getting sick.

Also, we talked to our facilitator and it looks like we'll have court next Monday or Tuesday. After that we'll start our ten day wait until we can take her out of the orphanage. Things are moving along!

Today's visit

2009-06-15T05:17:00.000-07:00

Our friend Julie drove us out to Vorzel today to visit Evie...it was great to introduce her to Evie and to spend some time with her again, as we were teammates when we lived in Kiev and have remained close friends.

Our visit today went very well. We spent the whole time outside with Evie's groupa. She got really excited about seeing us as did the rest of the kids with her. They all were very cute. I want to take them all! And Evie seemed more ready to interact with us. She made more eye contact and played a bit with us.

A large therapy ball was outside today so we bounced Evie on it the way we used to do for Polly when she was little. Evie loved it and afterwards we walked her around the yard holding on to our fingers. With therapy, I'm sure she'll be walking in no time!

She also babbled a bit more today which was wonderful to hear. I even got her to repeat 'mama' once or twice :).

We are all tired today. I realized that we can't really do all day and night visits with friends and family and still be up for our visits out to Vorzelthe next morning. It will be tough to balance b/c there are people we need to see, but our number one priority is to be here for Evie.

I think the time change is affecting us more today as well. The first few days we must have been living off of adrenaline.

Being in Kiev

2009-06-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

Our adoption story is a little different than others, because of the fact that we lived here in Kiev for almost four years before Polly was born and her care took our family back to the States.

Now in the midst of completing our adoption of Evangeline, we are attempting to spend time with friends and family as well. Today we did not go to see Evie but spent the day at an outdoor baptism of good friends. Then we took part in a Ukrainian picnic, complete with volleyball, shashleek (kind of like our shish kabobs cooked over an open fire), going off to use nature's toilet...the works.

It's so good to be back. Today involved a lot of hugs and some tears. I was overwhelmed at how quickly children grow into young adults and generally thankful to participate for a time again in the life I so loved to lead before.

After the picnic we spent the rest of the evening with my closest Ukrainian friend, who happens to be married to Sergei's closest Ukrainian friend. We had a wonderful time catching up, then caught a ride to the Metro to make our way back to Babushka's house.

I snapped a picture of Sergei reading a book on the train yesterday, explaining to the girls that this is how their Papa grew up. Today, each girl pulled out a book on the Metro to read :). So cute.

Tomorrow morning we will be up early and will drive out to Vorzel with friends to visit with Evie.

I can't wait.

Sisters meet!

2009-06-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

Per Lainie's post below, the girls got to meet Evangeline today. We weren't sure if it was actually going to happen though. My dear friend Alyona picked us up and drove us out to Vorzel today but we were stuck in traffic and ended up arriving after 1:00pm. Evie had just fallen asleep and her care-givers didn't want to wake her. We could not wait for two hours b/c Alyona's family were waiting with lunch for us at their house. So, sadly, at first, we went on to Alyona's house and although we were disappointed, ended up having a lovely time with our dear Ukrainian friends whom we hadn't been with for a long time. Then after 4pm, Alyona offered to drive us back out to Vorzel (about 20 minutes from her house which is outside of Kiev). We were surprised and very thankful!

And it worked! Evie was up and we got to spend some time with her and introduce her to two of her new sisters. The girls were smitten, Evie was giggly and I did not want to let her go. I look forward to longer visits next week. But I'm sure every time it is going to be difficult to give her back.

hi from Elaina

2009-06-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Today I met Evie. We also went to Alyona's house (Alyona is a good friend of mom's). Evie kept on laughing when we were there to see her. I told mom that we should call Evie 'love bug' cause she laughs and hugs a lot.

We took the Metro today and Mom took a picture of Papa reading on the train. I showed Mom and Papa a new market to buy groceries. I went there with Babushka before.

It's gonna be fun going with Evie on the plane.

Love, Elaina

In real life!!

2009-06-12T11:19:00.001-07:00

We met Evangeline today!

This morning our facilitator picked us up at 7:45am. After one more stop for the interpreter we headed to a suburb of Kiev to bring our referral from the SDA to the regional inspector. Not only did the regional inspector give us the paperwork we needed but she went with us to meet Evie. She needed to see the initial contact I guess. I envsioned an old man but was surprised to sit next to a young girl wearing a hot pink t-shirt...our inspector.

So we drove to Vorzel, all five of us and I was struck with how green and nice the town was. Close to the orphanage I saw a group of children in a row, walking with their care givers. It choked me up.

We walked into a building and were ushered into another room immediately. There we met the doctor overseeing Evangeline's group. She sat us down and talked us, again but more extensively, through Evangelines medical history. We pretty much knew everything; that Evie has Down syndrome, that she has a small whole in her heart that seems to be closing and she is being treated for hypothyroidism. Her chest is also enclaved and since I don't know much about that, I'll make an appointment for that right away after we get home.

Half way through the doctor's talk the nurse knocked on the door with Evie. I heard her kind of crying outside the door and wanted to tell the doctor that we've heard enough, that we wanted to see our child but of course, I sat there politely while she asked the nurse to wait out in the hallway with the child until we were finished. That was torutre!

So, finally the doctor stopped talking and she called the nurse in with Evie. They walked in together, Evie needed both hands and lots of help. She looked around and got spooked by the whole room of people and started to cry. The doctor suggested we head outside to see her groupa and before I knew it we were in the yard and instantly I was drawn to Evie. I bent down and helped her to stand. She leaned on me and I just breathed her in. Here was the child I had been waiting for for eight months, the little one I dreamed of, my last thought at night and my first thought in the morning. I straightened out her arm and kissed the inside of her elbow. Pure heaven.

We hope to take Elaina and Zoya to meet her tomorrow.

And I hope to get some one on one time with her soon to get to know her a bit more. In her groupa, she was one of the kids who needed a bit more help with things...I can't wait till we are the ones who help!

Good day!

We got Evie's referral!

2009-06-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

So today was an exciting day! This morning Sergei and I got all dressed up (he even wore a tie...that never happens, even when he's preaching) and we went with our facilitator Oleg to our court referral appointment.

Here's our obligatory adoption picture in front of the SDA...there I was all worried that Sergei wouldn't smile and he went one step further and closed his eyes as well. Ugh.

The appointment was quick and painless. I opted for a translator since she was there and I was nervous and Serg is never sure he will know all the correct lingo but we ended up not really needing her.

The psychologist greeted us and asked about our other children. I showed her a family picture and told her about each girl, their names, how old, etc... She was very interested and extremely pleasant which made me tear up. I don't remember many, if anyone being kind to me when Polly was born here in Ukraine three years ago but this woman seemed genuinely happy that we wanted to adopt Evangeline.

Then she pulled out Evie's file and showed us a picture of her as a newborn and a more recent photo of her. Sergei and I had to laugh. They couldn't have taken a more un-flattering picture of her lol! I asked if I could take a picture of the pictures she showed us but she said she would give them to us later on.

We talked about Evangeline's diagnosis of Down syndrome and that she was abandoned at a baby house at birth. She has no brothers or sisters. It turns out Evie also has a small whole in her heart but it looks like it's closing up fine on it's own. That's something we'll check out when we get her home.

The psychologist stated that Evie was diagnosed as severly delayed on paper but from the tests she did with her she would put her at a mild or moderate range of delay. I remember when Polly was born. For such a long time I was caught up in thoughts of her future functionality. With time those thoughts vanished...Polly is now just Polly, and she surprises me daily nonetheless. I have every confidence that Evie will do the same, with a little help.

I think the psychologist's face will forever be etched in my mind as the Ukrainian woman who made it possible for me to meet my fourth daughter. After she ran through Evie's file she asked if we wanted the referral and all I could do, with tears, was nod my head.

If things go as planned (God willing) we will meet Evie tomorrow. Every time I think of it I lose my breath.

We also got to meet up with my good friend Brigitte who is finishing up her adoption process. And we met sweet Jacob, her new son. They came over to Serg's mom's apartment for pizza last night and today we went to the park with them and with Brigitte's roomate who has just completed her adoption of Moriah.

Jacob is pure bliss and we all fell head over heels for him at first sight. Brigitte and I have walked this adoption path through Reece's Rainbow together and to see her hold her little one in her arms here in Kiev is such an answer to prayer.

Here's picture of Jake with Sergei...two Ukrainian dudes hanging out talking about good places in Kiev to get a tattoo.

Kid upddate: Polly's happy at grandma's I hear. Went to a ball game, getting lots of ice cream I'm sure. We all miss her but I am glad that I can run around Kiev (for now) without a three year old. Elaina and Zoya are having a great time and hit three parks today alone.

I enjoyed walking around Kiev today after our SDA appointment. Sergei and I walked for about twenty minutes to another part of town to get his passport picture taken, then we grabbed a bite to eat at a cafe (super cheap!) and took the Metro home. I didn't know how much I had missed the sights and smells of Kiev until I was crammed back into an over-stuffed Metro car lol.

I gotta tell you...it's been a couple good days.

But I think it's gonna get better!

We are in Ukraine!

2009-06-10T00:32:00.001-07:00

We made it!

Thanks for your prayers. Our trip was uneventful which is always good lol. We got to Sergei's mom's apartment yesterday around 3pm. It's so nice to have family here. She had a meal ready, fresh towels and beds ready to for the night. I was the first to crash at 6:30pm and the girls followed me at 8pm. Sergei tried to wait up to see his brother who would be in at midnight, but didn't make it past 10pm.

Zoya and I were up at night for a bit, but we all slept basically until 8am. Now Sergei is off to renew his Ukrainian passport and the girls are helping Babushka make serniki (a breakfast food, cheese and sugar make up little patties and then are fried. You eat it with sour cream).

I haven't left the apartment yet today, but Sergei went out last night and hit the grocery store. He came home with beer and fish...true Ukrainian lol! Every time we come back to visit Sergei and I both get sad for a few days. Sad b/c we've missed it here and also sad at the temperment of the city; lots of people out drinking, people with stern faces hurrying to someplace important, idle youth congregating near doorways, doing nothing.

The feeling of hopelessness will fade in a few days, to be replaced with hugs and laughter and lots of big Ukrainian meals...and the feeling of our new daughter's arms around us.

This afternoon we plan to meet up with my friend Brigitte and her new little adopted guy Jake.

Our first court date is tomorrow morning at 10am. After that, we should get the papers in order to go meet Evangeline! WOW!

I'll keep you updated! For now, here's a few pictures:

The girls in Chicago

On the plane

At Babushka's house: Zoya and Uncle Nic (Serg's bro)

Lainie and Babushka making serniki

Tomorrow we leave

2009-06-07T13:27:00.000-07:00

I am on the last load of laundry from our weekend in Michigan celebrating my nephew's high school graduation. After that it's the final pack inspection and I plan to go through all our documents one more time.

Polly is already tucked away at Grandma's house. We left her last night after we put her to sleep. She'll stay with Grandma until Sergei gets back in two-and-a-half weeks. The other two girls are here with us in Chicago, giddy, excited to see friends and family in Kiev.

I can't believe the time has come to actually go and get our daughter. So many times our adoption could have been stopped and every time God brought us through.

I look forward to seeing what he is going to do in the next few weeks.

Our flight leaves tomorrow from O'Hare at 2:30pm. We fly to Frankfurt, Germany and then after a couple hours board another plane to Kiev.

We should arrive on Tuesday, at 1:30pm.

And we appreciate prayers for a safe and uneventful trip.

5 days

2009-06-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

We leave for Kiev in five days. I am ticking away at my list of things to do.

It's tricky cause Friday and Saturday we'll be in Michigan for our nephew's high school graduation and then Sunday is church and a potluck to honor some dear friends who are moving in two weeks.

So in actuality I have two days to finish our trip preparations.

But everything will get done and regardless we will be up in the air Monday afternoon, on our way to meet Evie! Until then, I will just keep chugging...

A Reprieve

2009-06-01T14:37:00.000-07:00

I got an email this afternoon saying that it looks like the vote on international adoptions is not on the docket tomorrow for the Ukrainian Parliament. Thank God...

We are moving forward, packing and buying items needed for the trip and whispering prayers of thanks that for now, the plan is to get on a plane a week from today and go and meet our daughter.

My head is spinning.

We are (hopefully) going to Ukraine...prayers needed!

2009-06-01T05:59:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting to say the word 'Ukraine' on this blog for eight months and now that we are private I'm allowed to say that Evangeline lives right outside of Kiev.

Most of you know we were missionaries in Kiev for almost four years, up until Polly was born. Sergei was born and raised in that city, too.

We know first-hand through experience that life in Ukraine, especially politically, can change at any time.

Tuesday, there will be a vote by Parliament (?) to decide whether or not Ukraine is going to start the process to put a moratorium on international adoptions. No one really knows what this means exactly or what it will look like for families like ours who already have a court date set in-country, or for others who are compiling their dossiers and close to being ready to submit.

The variables are endless...I would like prayer that the vote to do this is no. They could also vote to have a moratorium but still honor the adoptions close to being finished, or they could still honor special needs adoptions.

We plan to leave one week from today, Monday June 8th. Please, Lord, let it be so.

There are seven families from Reece's Rainbow alone who plan to be in Kiev in the next two weeks for adoptions, and 37 families in process right now through RR for Ukraine.

These kids need loving families and God has called us to step forward and welcome them into our lives. Please pray along with us for a good outcome Tuesday.

I will keep you updated.

Going private Monday!

2009-05-28T06:02:00.000-07:00

Now that we have our travel date for Eastern Europe I am planning to make this blog private Monday. There is just too much I want to say that I can't, well, say.

So if you'd like to follow our journey while we are in country for the adoption, please leave me a comment here with your email address or email me at gillian@rcn.com and I will send you an invite this weekend! The blog will stay private until we are back on American soil with our new daughter, I think.

Today we are buying our tickets to leave! YEA!!

We have a travel date!!!

2009-05-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

We just heard this morning that we have a travel date to go to Eastern Europe. We need to be there for court on Thursday, June 11th!! So, we will probably get there on Tuesday to give us time to adjust.

Thank God!

Will write more later...

Dossier Submitted!!

2009-05-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

I just received an email from our facilitator in Evangeline's country saying that our dossier was submitted today!

Thank God!

He also said to expect a travel date between the 2nd and 10th of June but we'll know for sure next week.

I'm shaking!

Tomorrow

2009-05-17T14:05:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning our dossier will be submitted to the court in Evangeline's country.

Please pray there will not be a reason for the dossier to get rejected.

If all goes well, the dossier will be accepted and then we will be waiting for a traveling date.

Good thing, too. I am walking around crying at commericals and kids' music. I need this little girl to come home soon LOL.

Amazing video!

2009-05-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

A change in status & an adoption shower

2009-05-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

I just noticed today that our family has been moved over to the 'traveling soon' page from the 'our adopting families' page at Reece's Rainbow. That's Exciting!

We are still on track to submit our dossier next Monday, May 18th.

Almost there!

Appreciate prayers that our dossier will be accepted Monday without any hold ups and that we will receive a travel date soon after.

Also, a big thank you to our church in Michigan for the adoption shower for Evangeline that was held last Saturday. We went to Michigan on Friday night to spend time with my family there and then got to visit with my grandma at her care facility on Saturday morning and then the little trip was finished off Saturday afternoon with the wonderful shower.

It meant a lot to us that time was spent in prayer at the shower for Evangeline and for the adoption to be completed in God's time. I snapped a bunch of pictures for the life book I am working on for Evie and friends showered us with financial gifts as well!

Last week we received a donation of $1000 anonymously. With the money we received Saturday at the shower added to the anonymous gift we should be able to take our two older girls along with us for the first part of our adoption journey in Evie's country.

WOW! God is good!

Here is the video that our friends Kirk and Bonnie Goodwin made for us for the shower!

Encouraged!

2009-05-07T11:05:00.000-07:00

I heard from our facilitator today that he got a submission date for our dossier. May 18th, at 11:20am. After waiting for nearly three weeks for a date, that is very good news.

Our paperwork is a little bit different than other peoples' because my husband, Sergei, is not an American Citizen but he has a green card.

Please pray with us for May 18th, that the dossier will be accepted and that we will be able to receive a travel date without any more complications.

Also, my friend Brigitte is leaving this Saturday, May 9th to adopt her soon to be son, Jacob and my other friend, Amy, is leaving a week after for her adoption.

Many other Reece's Rainbow friends are close to traveling too.

Would love it if you could pray for them also. So exciting!

More waiting for us...

2009-04-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

We finally heard from our facilitator in Evangeline's country yesterday.

He was not able to get the needed letter in order to submit our dossier tomorrow so it's more waiting for us.

There are some holidays coming up in Evie's country so I'm not actually sure when our paperwork will be submitted.

But I wanted to thank all of you who prayed for us regarding this issue. I have been overwhelmed by God's peace and this is an opportunity for us to put our faith to action by trusting God once again with his perfect timing to bring Evie home.

I'll keep you posted!

Please pray with us!

2009-04-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

Our facilitator in Evangeline's country emailed us today saying that tomorrow (Friday) he will try to get a needed letter in order to submit our dossier next week to the court. Without the letter tomorrow, the wait will be a couple weeks until we can submit due to a few back to back holidays in-country.

Will you pray with us that if it is God's will, the letter will be obtained tomorrow?

And will you pray for God's peace for us...that regardless of what tomorrow brings we will continue to trust His perfect timing in bringing our child home?

The Lord has provided many wonderful new friendships through this adoption journey. Today I remember words of comfort from a few friends. Words that are oh, so true...

My friend Meredith often says on her blog, "Either God is on the throne or he's not.

My friend Brigitte's motto for her adoption is "If God brings you to it He will get you through it."

And my friend Amy, adopting Pavel, encouraged me so much yesterday with her words sent to me in an email..."I'm trusting that God has already seen the day we will bring him (Pavel) home."

Amen, my friends.

Amen.

Dossier Delivered! YEA!

2009-04-21T09:55:00.000-07:00

According to FedEx our dossier was delivered to and signed for by our facilitator in Evangeline's country today, one day early!

Now our facilitator will go through all the documents and confirm that everything is in order to submit.

We would appreciate prayers that the documents are found to be correct.

God willing, we'll know in the next day if everything is good and when our facilitator plans to submit our paperwork.

Oh my goodness!! I feel like my water just broke! Ha!

I mailed out our dossier!!!

2009-04-17T09:13:00.000-07:00

The last document we needed for our dossier came this morning.

I just got back from FedExing it to Eastern Europe.

When the document came this morning to our door, I reached out to take it with shakey hands and tears.

At the FedEx place, it was business as usual for everyone there but me. When the person helping me placed our documents into the large white envelope I had to fight myself not to yell out, "careful, that is a child's future you are handling!"

It is surreal to hand over documents that took six months to prepare with the knowledge that out of that work, those white pieces of paper with notaries and seals, prayed over, cried about, looked at so long that my eyes burned...

...comes a child.

By the grace of God.

God willing, it will reach Eastern Europe by Tuesday!

Thanks for all your support and prayers!

Still waiting and trying to be patient

2009-04-16T11:13:00.000-07:00

We are still waiting for one more document to arrive.

And I am trying to be patient and spiritually minded.

I am not doing very well though.

Should be here any day.

Waiting again

2009-04-11T06:59:00.000-07:00

Our dossier is still here.

God willing, we will mail it out this next week, Wednesday or Thursday.

Today I remember that God's timing is perfect. And I'm thankful for all the great help and council we've received to get this far in the adoption process.

I have faith it will happen, so I am choosing to push aside the dissapointment that it didn't happen yesterday.

We appreciate continued prayers and I hope that Easter tomorrow is a great celebration for all of us, that we can focus on Christ regardless of what's going on in our lives, good or bad. Because he deserves the attention.

He has risen indeed!

It's really happening

2009-04-09T19:58:00.001-07:00

"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28...

Is this really happening?

Tomorrow morning I will have our complete dossier apostilled and then it will be FedExed to Eastern Europe.

I sit here tonight stunned once again that God has placed another child into our family. God has placed another child in my heart. One that I have not seen. One that I already know.

And I am, oh, so excited too...and nervous, and unprepared, and wondering if I can do a good job parenting Marchenko kid number four...

But willing.

Exiting stuff is ahead.

Thank you Lord!

INS APPROVED!!

2009-04-08T19:23:00.000-07:00

This week I've been in Michigan helping my family with my very sweet, 91 year old grandma. Every night I call Sergei to find out if our approval came in the mail.

Tonight I called later than usual...depleted after helping my mom get my grandmother transferred to a care facility. Her needs are more than can be met at home anymore and everyone in our family is very sad about the needed change.

So when I talked to Sergei tonight I asked, out of habit, about the mail. Did our INS 171 approval come today?

My bachelor husband hadn't even checked the mail yet...at ten at night...and there it was. Our approval. It's there!

Tomorrow the girls and I will head back home and my next couple of days will be filled with getting our dossier apostilled and ready to send to Ukraine.

Today has been bitter.

Tonight is sweet.

Four weeks in...

2009-04-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

So as of today we have been waiting for four weeks for our INS 171 approval. I was told to allow four to eight weeks to process our file. I know I am repeating myself on here but this is the final paper I need to have a complete dossier to ship to Eastern Europe.

OK, people. It's been four weeks. My foot is tapping.

2009-03-30T19:58:00.001-07:00

For more information go here.
And please don't use the R-word.

A 171 Prayer

2009-03-25T10:20:00.000-07:00

Would love for you all to join me in prayer that our INS approval, our I-171H will come in the mail soon.

This is the last piece of paper we need to send our dossier off to Eastern Europe.

Everything else has been notarized and checked and is ready to be apostilled.

Waiting is hard but I know God's timing is perfect. He has proved that so often in our lives.

And say a prayer for little Evie for health and safety and that she will be with us soon.

Congratulationsto the SNAP TO IT winner!!

2009-03-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

...my long time friend Susie A. Polly picked your name!

Thanks to everyone who contributed to the Canon PowerShot fund. We raised $1,090 towards Evangeline's adoption. WOW!!!

World Down Syndrome Day!

2009-03-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

Today I am celebrating my kids, the ones with 46 chromosomes and the ones with 47! Please be aware of people with differences and include them into your life.

Red Balloons

2009-03-18T06:32:00.000-07:00

This was my first post on Pocket Lint. It explains a lot about why we are adopting again, about the joy I experience parenting my kids. I look forward to a red balloon with Evangeline.
******************

My brother had a dual birthday party for his son and his wife a few weeks ago. I heard all about it the other day on the phone with my mom. The party took place outdoors, at a park, on a sunny California day. There were drinks for the adults, a jumping house for the kids, fresh air for all.

And balloons.

My brother’s daughter is twenty-three months old. She has beautiful blue eyes, chubby cherub legs, dimples. She is very independent and sure footed, always has a smile for anyone who needs one, and the day of the birthday party she was fascinated with balloons. She could not stop following the balloons. Eventually my brother caught her for a moment and tied a balloon to her belt loop. Then all day long he could spot her. He would look up from his food or from his conversation and instantly he would see the big balloon bobbing above his diminutive daughter.

I imagine the balloon red, lazily moving from one place to another, through peoples’ conversations, a few swipes past the buffet tables, loitering on the sandy playground near the slide. All day long he watched the balloon and he knew that his little one was safe.

Exploring her world, but safe.

Parents want children who are easy, like red balloons. At birth, our children are so dependent on us, but as they take their first gulp of air, they are already starting their ascent. And that is the goal we have for our kids; to grow, to evolve, to become who they will become while we, without too much sweat and tears, watch.

I have three daughters. It was easy to see my two older girls lifting off effortlessly, each floating away in respective directions. Elaina, my oldest, jumped from the womb full of air, and has fought for independence quickly in every stage of her development. She is trying to figure out a way to turn her balloon into a rocket. My middle daughter, Zoya, sometimes is uneasy about the air around her, she stays a bit closer, evolving quietly but surely until she is comfortable with her surroundings.

Then Polly was born. We were told she had Down syndrome and I didn't know if her body could even hold air. I spent almost a year grieving popped balloons in my mind; her future, lost expectations, my future. I was certain I would not see her float away, towards independence, towards her own life.

I was wrong. At twenty months, little by little, with a lot of hard work, Polly is lifting off.

The other day, she was looking at a book of snapshots with one of her therapists. The first page is her house; the next page is Polly, then Mama, next Mama with Polly, then her Papa, and lastly a picture of all three sisters. We take this little book out daily and slowly, we look at each picture and talk about who we see. Up until then Polly had been mildly interested, pointing to pictures, helping turn the page.

And that day it clicked. When she got to the picture of me, she said excitedly, mama, mama, mama, and vigorously pointed to the book, pivoted her little bottom around and pointed at me. She had such a bright smile on her face. The therapist and I both squealed and clapped and I am sure that my make-up was running down my face. It was like a huge puff of air had been blown into me, unlike anything I had felt before. And I thought about the red balloon bobbing above my own head.

Ready to lift off with Polly.

Praise and a prayer

2009-03-16T14:14:00.000-07:00

I just heard from our adoption State-side helper, the one I had faxed 48 pages of our dossier to last week.

Except for a few minor changes, everything looks good! Yea! I was worried about having to redo hard-to-do forms. I'll make the needed changes and get the new documents notarized and we should be good to go.

I also heard from USCIS last week. They confirmed the arrival of our paperwork and asked that we'd allow 4-8 weeks for processing. This piece of paper, the I 171-H is the last of our dossier requirements. 1 week down, God willing, only a few more to go.

Will you pray along with Sergei and me that this form will come in God's time and that God's time could be sooner than later?

Regardless, I am so glad that we are to this point. Paperwork out of the way gives me a lot more time in the day.

Thanks!

Nesting

2009-03-11T18:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I faxed off 48 pages of our dossier to our State-side adoption helper for checking.

And now I am nesting, I think.

The upstairs bedrooms are finally switched around. Sergei and I moved into the old guest bedroom. Zoya moved in with Elaina (their idea) and Polly moved into our old master bedroom where she soon will be joined by Evangeline, God willing. Zoya's room is the guest room with the complete understanding all around that at any time it can turn back in to Zoya's room. All three girls are loving the extra space in Polly and Evie's room; all the toys finally have a home together.

I've recycled bags of paper from the kids' rooms. They LOVE junk mail! Four bags of odds and ends went off to good will and tomorrow morning once everyone is off to school I will start painting Elaina and Zoya's room (I messed up the walls pulling down Elaina's old decorations -oops).

This feels good. It makes it more of a reality that another little one will be joining our family.

I am also nesting internally; I ordered books on attachment and adoption and am trying to look each of my children in the eye at least once a day, giving them my full attention. I'm praying. Taking baths. Moving forward in paperwork and house prep.

Still on the list; figure out some clothes for Evie (she looks almost bigger than Polly, so we may be moving up a size), buy a toddler bed for Polly so that Evie can have the crib, figure out high chairs and strollers.

I'm open for advice...especially from those of you who have twins or are baby bunching. Polly and Evie are 6 months apart. Yikes.

And I bet you will see them dressed alike, time and again, just because I never thought we'd have twins.

(Today I have a post up at Pocket Lint about whether or not adding Evie to our family is fair to our other kids. Would love for you to read it!)

I had to add this one of her!

2009-03-04T13:25:00.001-08:00

We got this picture today of Evangeline.

These eyes captured my heart!

I have it in my hands!!

2009-03-04T10:28:00.000-08:00

OK, we got our final, notarized home study, the DCFS endorsement letter and the other documents needed from our social worker for the dossier in the mail today! I am holding the home study in my hands and I am amazed that God has brought us this far!

Sergei just walked out the door with documents in hand to overnight to USCIS.

Would someone please remind me to breathe?

I give God all the praise and glory for getting me, this unorganized, freaked out, often times child-like person this far in this paper pregnancy.

Whew!!

Received DCFS endorsement!

2009-03-03T13:13:00.000-08:00

I just got an email from our social worker saying that they got our DCFS (Department of Child and Family Services) endorsement letter in the mail today and it is presently on it's way, along with our home study and other documents needed from the agency for our dossier. We should be getting it all tomorrow or they day after!

Yea!!

The next step is to mail in the DCFS letter and our home study to INS and wait for our I171-H to come in the mail. We've already had our fingerprints done so we'll see how long it takes.

Once we receive our I171-H, God willing, we'll be good to go and will FedEx our dossier to Ukraine.

I have goose bumps!

A great birthday gift!

2009-03-02T14:39:00.001-08:00

We got new pictures of Evangeline today...

What a great birthday gift!

Oh, and Elaina asked if it was Ash Wednesday...i.e.why Evie had that stuff on her head. Our best bet is that she has a cut and that stuff is like iodine to keep the germs out lol.

And, yea, we are totally growing her hair out when she, God willing, comes home!

I think I am becoming a tree hugger

2009-02-27T09:36:00.002-08:00

White paper..i.e. forms to be completed just so, with a fully readable notary stamp, in black ink, wait make it blue, then to be checked for errors...white paper right now is the bane of my existence.

But the pay off for such work?

So I stop a second, say a quick prayer for our sweet girl waiting to come home, and continue on in the paper pregnancy, eating whole bars of chocolate in one sitting, using the bathroom way too often, checking and rechecking documents for mistakes, hoping that the paperwork is correct.

Today, I hate white paper.

SNAP TO IT!!

2009-02-23T08:10:00.001-08:00

This digital camera could be yours!

Canon SD1100 IS 8.0MP 2.5"
3x Optical 12x Total
Image Stabilizer
Battery & Charger
Movie Mode w/ Sound
DIGIC III Image Processor ISO 1600

It's time for another fun give away! This awesome Canon digital camera with a bonus 2G memory card could be yours!

Things are moving along with our adoption and we are getting close to having everything ready for our dossier! Yea!!

If you'd like to help us with funding to get Evie home this is a great, simple way to do it. For every $10 donated your name will go in a hat and on Monday, March 23rd Polly will pick one name out of a bowl and this camera might be coming your way, a total value of almost $200 including the memory card.

Thanks so much for your prayers! Help spread the word!

Some days it's like 'Waiting for Godot"

2009-02-18T06:21:00.000-08:00

Only I know our Godot will arrive.

Four months have passed in my adoption paper pregnancy and I am dangerously close to the day where all I can simply do is wait and ask God for help. I tingle thinking of my small part of this adoption, all this paperwork, coming to an end.

My consumption of paperwork for eighteen weeks has been a heavy diet. Scrambling around getting signatures and notaries, and nagging my husband to 'do his part' (translation, the stuff I can't bring myself to tackle), I've walked around the house with my shoulders perpetually up near the tops of my ears.

Now in my blue notebook with large thick letters spelling 'dossier', document after document is socked away, signed and sealed and ready for approval, 'paper gold', to send to Eastern Europe to be translated and submitted to a group of people in crumbly suits, sitting lazily in a boring beige room, drinking black sludge and looking for uncrossed 'T's' and crooked notary stamps on the white pages. Four documents or so are all that's left before the whole notebook will be checked.

And we will wait for our Godot...a little girl with big blue eyes and low muscle tone, who has sat under a tree waiting for her Godot for almost two and a half years, never really believing anyone would come.

Ours will be an unforgettable reunion, a mother meeting her daughter who has grown in her heart but outside of her body, sisters welcoming another into the fold, a dad who stands amazed at the things God has asked him to do and yet so thankful for the opportunity to welcome a child unto himself just like his heavenly father has done for him.

So far this process at times has made me scream out loud, to throw up my arms in frustration and to cry quietly on my husband's shoulder, certain that a document is incorrect but deeper, certain that I cannot, in actuality, care and love for another little girl the way I am acting like I will.

So I wait for our little Godot, knowing that with her presence in our family a vat of love will suddenly appear, enough to pour over her, her sisters, over all of us really. That's just how God works.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." -Luke 18:16

Opinions please!

2009-02-17T11:46:00.000-08:00

We are gearing up for another on-line giving opportunity for Evangeline.

I have been kicking around a couple of ideas and would love some feedback.

Once again, anyone who donates will have a chance at a gift.

What would you prefer:

-a digital camera

-an electronic picture frame

-or another gift card

Use the side bar poll to vote or leave me a comment and let me know. The fun will start in a few days!

Yulia

2009-02-13T12:16:00.000-08:00

This beautiful little girl is Yulia. She is almost four years old, lives in Eastern Europe and has Down syndrome. Anytime after her fourth birthday, Yulia can be institutionalized.

Charissa over at Country Living the Urban Way is hosting a fund raiser to help raise money for Yulia. As of yet, Yulia does not have a family committed to adopt her. A grant towards Yulia's adoption could very well mean life for this sweet little girl. What a blessing the money could be to a family who would like to adopt her.

Click on the picture to get to Charrisa's blog and please donate if you can! As a thank you there's a certain something that will be given away to one person who's name is drawn from a hat by Ava, another little Eastern European princess who's life has been completely changed through adoption. But really, donating to a great cause is gift enough right?

Mama Bear

2009-02-11T12:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had an IEP meeting for our daughter Polly who has Down syndrome. She turns three in April and for the last few months has been going through evaluations from Chicago Public Schools in order to come up with her very own Individual Eduction Plan.

Sixteen people meet around a large square table for two hours to determine the best school setting for her come April.

The experience was postivie, generally. My husband and I were pleased with the goals set for Polly and it seems like she will be alloted enough time in school for physical, occupational and speech therapy.

There was one area of Polly's IEP where I did not agree with the proposed goals. I voiced my concerns and went back and forth with the therapist. I talked, she talked. I talked again. She ripped up the paper sitting in front of her. I offered her a brownie (I made brownies for the meeting. Great tip by the way). We agreed on tweaking the goals a bit and added one more goal per my request, against her perfessional opinion.

I felt the mama bear in me awaken. She started to shift and bend slowly, ready to stand and roar if need be. I fought the feeling, stayed civil and polite, yet firm.

Last night my whole body ached from built-up stress and the disagreement during the meeting. It felt like I had been in a fist fight.

Advocacy is hard work. Sometimes you have to push and pull to get what you know in your gut is right for your child. It takes nerve.

And sometimes I don't think I have enough nerve which scares me when I think about bringing Evangeline home. Last night as I lay down to sleep I very quietly asked God just what he thought he was doing.

This morning the Reece's Rainbow community received devastating news. Two girls from the site, who were over four years old, already institutionalized, without families, passed away due to a recent flu epidemic in their country.

There are so many children who need loving families to care for and advocate for them. Reece's Rainbow has helped place over 140 children with special needs in two and a half years! We thank God for the families who have welcomed children into their homes. And pray that others will step forward.

I am reminded this morning that adopting Evangeline means life, for all of us. It is worth it. God will give me the nerve I need when I need it to be a good mother to her and to ensure that she is always loved, protected, treated with dignity and respect, and receives ample opportunity to reach her God-given potential.

And so I am gonna make nice with the mama bear in me and allow her to stay, for the sake of my children.

Please go to Reece's Rainbow's site, look at the children, pray for them and tell others about them.

They all are in desperate need of a mama bear.

Our church

2009-02-05T11:40:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday our church took up a love offering to help with the adoption costs.

We were blown away by the gift! God is so good and we are thankful for our friends at Christian Fellowship and their generosity. I know they all are praying for Evangeline and for the whole process.

The offering put us almost half way to our adoption goal.

What a blessing!

Our adoption blog's new look!

2009-02-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

Props to my friend, Bethany, for designing Evangeline's new header for our blog! Doesn't it look great?

Bethany also suggested I spiff up my background from this place while I was at it.

I'm excited to join the ranks of cute blogs!

Bethany has three great blogs: family, adoption and photography.

Check them out!

And thanks Bethany! I love it!

Our home study is in the mail!

2009-01-29T12:33:00.000-08:00

Yesterday our home study was mailed to DCFS (Department of child and family services). In Illinois, adoptive parents need to be endorsed by DCFS.

Once we receive their endorsement letter, the home study will then be mailed to USCIS for INS approval.

The home study is a big part of our paperwork to get Evangeline home.

Thank God it's done!!

We're moving along. Thanks so much for your prayers!

Help Bring Jacob Home!

2009-01-26T10:03:00.000-08:00

Grab This Button

My dear friend, Brigitte, and her family are in the process of bringing Jacob home from Eastern Europe.

Brigitte and I are neck and neck in the adoption process. She is my cheerleader and organizer, prayer warrior and friend. We have a bond through this time in our lives and through our children. I look forward to a life-long friendship with the Van Nice family.

Right now they have a donation opportunity on their blog to help bring Jacob home. At the end of the allotted time, Josie, Brigitte's oldest who also happens to have Down syndrome will pick a name out of a hat and that person will win a Nintendo Wii!

Yesterday I found out that for a few days a very generous friend of the family has offered to match donations!

Pop over and chip in! Let's bring Jacob home!!

The Biggest Gift

2009-01-24T18:12:00.000-08:00

We are grateful for the monetary donations we've received from family and friends and even strangers to help bring Evangeline home so far.

Last week I got a letter in the mail from a woman who lives in the town next door to my parent's town back home. Her return address read, "With God all things are possible."

The woman goes to the church we attended in Michigan before we left for the mission field in 2002 and after we returned from the mission field in 2006.

Her note said that there has only been one time she helped in the baby nursery at that church and that particular Sunday morning she happened to have our daughter Polly. She said she held Polly the whole time and that she fell asleep on her.

"Gillian, I don't have much, but I wanted to give what I can to help you get Evangeline home. Polly is just precious and I am so excited you are doing this. I am praying that God will bring her home."

The money order was for $15.

Her sweet words and support mean the world to us.

What a gift.

Three Months Paper Pregnant

2009-01-24T18:00:00.000-08:00

We are just over three months into our adoption journey. Sergei and I committed to try to bring Evangeline home to be a Marchenko on October 15th. It's hard to believe.

Our home study submission is in sight and we've been gathering documents and signatures here and there for the dossier. Every night when I lay my head on the pillow I pray for Evangeline, across the world from us, seven hours ahead, getting ready to wake up as we get ready to sleep.

Many adoption families I know through Reese's Rainbow and through my on-line Down syndrome communities are at exciting points in their process; receiving approval from INS, submitting home studies, preparing to travel, and some are even holding their children in their arms tonight.

I am so excited to see God orchestrate this endeavor.

We can not wait to be parents of four.

Sunshine on my shoulder makes me happy

2009-01-08T16:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday started out a little frenzied again but it got better. My husband offered to take Polina with him on some errands so I had the house to myself for a while.

I called my sister and asked her if she'd like to go on an impromptu trip to anywhere warm.

And then the sun came out.

It was glorious.

And I got to work on some forms for the adoption. Thank God, for now it seems the adoption writer's block is gone. I completed a couple forms to the best of my ability now and set up a notary to come with us to sign our medical forms next week.

It felt really good to do something instead of worry.

It's amazing how I am running around and around like a hamster on a wheel trying to get everything prepared and really, it's totally up to God and his timing.

The sun reminded me of that yesterday, somehow.

This morning I woke up to a snow storm. Gotta love the Midwest. I got up a little bit earlier than the girls to read and pray. Something I NEVER do.

Polly is playing with her Little People Farm, the girls are off to school, Sergei is at work.

We have no where we need to be today, no need for driving.

I will do a few more things for the dossier, fold laundry, play with Polly.

And I remember the sunshine from yesterday.

It's keeping me warm today.

Maybe the sun is shining today where Evangeline is?

Overwhelmed today

2009-01-06T11:36:00.000-08:00

About a half hour ago I sat on the couch and had a good cry.

Now that our home study is close to being finished, we've started to gather all the documents needed for our Eastern Europe dossier.

We waited for many of these documents on purpose because they all need to be good for six months after submission.

I had a plan.

So why am I freaking out?

A lot of the forms have to be altered because Sergei is Ukrainian, I'm on a New Year's diet (oh joy), my kids have been out of school for a few weeks, I don't know what I am doing with the forms, you name it.

It's funny, most people I know in the process of adoption are fearful of the international travel. Having lived in Ukraine for almost four years, I don't mind the travel part. It's the paper part on my end that is difficult for me.

I am just scared that I'm going to do something wrong, thus prolonging the process.

My husband came home for lunch and found me crying. He sat on the couch with me and prayed for me.

I know all of this is in God's hands and Evie will come, God willing, in his time.

O me of little faith.

A new year and presents and home studies, oh my!

2009-01-02T16:29:00.000-08:00

A lot can happen in a few days.

Tuesday morning our social worker came to the house for our final visit. We baby-proofed and cleaned and decluttered and she looked through each room and asked a total of five questions and that was it. It was all over in about a half hour. I was happy, though. We got to a lot of projects on my forever list and we are that much closer to finishing the home study!

We've heard that Evangeline received a few presents to celebrate the season. Hear say is that she loved the musical toy with lights! I am sitting here dreaming of next year, of her stocking now put away bulging with new little wonders and just having her with us.

May it be so.

Happy New Year everyone. I think this is going to be an important year for us that will cause us all in the Marchenko house to grow and stretch, to look more to God for help; to be more thankful and to be, simply put, more.

May it be so.

Happy New Year!

Our last home study visit!

2008-12-29T11:35:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow morning at 9am our social worker is coming to the house for the last home study visit.

I posted on our family blog Pocket Lint about all the baby-proofing we've done and today I am organizing and straightening up for tomorrow.

Some dear friends from church offered to have the girls over this afternoon so that I could finish everything up.

I think we are ready, just have to practice a fire evacuation plan with the girls tonight and pray they don't say anything utterly embarrassing to the social worker during our visit.

I'm so happy that we are close to being done with this huge part of the piece of getting Evie home.

All prayers are welcome!

Oh and I added the 'follow this blog' gadget on my sidebar. I'd love to have a list of people following Evangeline's journey to look back on so if you are following, sign up :).

Thanks!

More help needed!

2008-12-28T11:51:00.000-08:00

One of the biggest blessings of having a child with Down syndrome is the incredible community we were instantly ushered into. I've made countless friends, both on-line and in real life, other families who walk our road, who share our struggles and revel just as much in our kids progress and potential. These friendships are deep and wide, like a river. My life is personally much fuller knowing these people and it's a treasured club to participate in.

And now we belong to another club; families who adopt. And it's proving quickly to be just as tight of a group. Many of us are in process of adopting, some close enough to travel, starting and finishing the home study piece, others actually holding their children in their arms today. I am gaining strength and momentum from these parents and count it a privilege to walk this incredibly, God-given journey with them.

Last week Dasha's mother made their family's urgent need known and like a ripple, so many folks found out about the need and responded. Dasha will be coming home. Thank God for community.

Today, Mattea Olena's family also have a need for more funding in the next two weeks in order to bring their daughter home.

Click over to their blog or to their Reese's Rainbow page to find out more information and please consider helping. No donation is too small. Every little bit helps.

Mattea Olena is a child close to the age of being institutionalized and she has a significant heart defect. She needs immediate health care and she needs to get home to her family who loves her so much.

Help them out, join in the river of the adoption journey in a tangible, life changing way.

I promise you.

It's so refreshing.

We wish you a Merry Christmas!

2008-12-24T21:12:00.000-08:00

Tonight we had a great Christmas Eve service and then a few friends over for a Christmas toast.

As I write this my sweet husband is 2/3 of the way done with putting together the Rose Petal Cottage we got for the girls for Christmas (thanks Bethany for the heads up on the on-line deal). What a dad!

Polly usually goes right up to the nursery for church but tonight she got to stay and listen to the music. What fun! She laughed and clapped and brought life to everyone around her. Great way to celebrate the birth of Immanuel: God with us!

Afterword she took her turn on the piano. I teared up thinking about Evangeline so far away and dreamt once again about next Christmas with her here!

I bet she will love the cottage!

Help Baby Dasha

2008-12-22T11:11:00.001-08:00

Please click on the Donate button on Dasha's blog to help!
Grab This Button

This is Dasha. Her parents are already in Ukraine to adopt her but some unexpected expenses have come up. They need our help.

The Newbold family had a little girl with Down syndrome pass away at two years old from cancer. Since then they have been inspired to adopt two children with Down syndrome. Their little boy, John Paul, is home, but due to major unexpected financial complications with their adoption of Dasha, the family may not be able to bring her home.

We are praying, little girl. Please help if you can, whatever amount, to bring her home. Click over to the family blog to find out more about their story.

Merry Christmas minus one

2008-12-21T19:17:00.001-08:00

My dad clicked this picture of the three girls at their house last weekend. It saved me a huge headache as I didn't have to dress the kids up in Christmas garb and attempt to get them to smile for the camera in front of the tree.

This photo brings me joy, to see our kids healthy and happy at Christmas.

But Evangeline is missing from the picture and her absence is felt greatly. I bought a stocking for her. It's gold with a Christmas star embroidered on it with sequins and beads.

This last week I've fought the urge to stress out over the huge mountain of work that needs to be done and money that needs to be raised to get her home. Sitting here tonight, kids tucked away asleep, the house quiet, I gaze at this picture of our girls and click over to a picture of Evangeline. I go back and forth, back and forth and if I do it quick enough it's like they are almost together.

I can't wait to see next year's picture!

And the winner is...

2008-12-15T11:12:00.000-08:00

Heidi Iliff!

Today is the end of our Christmas gift challenge for Evangeline. Good thing Polly has a great pincer grasp. She had no problem pulling out one folded up name out of over a hundred in a bowl.

Congratulations to Heidi, her husband Jeff and their four children. The Iliffs are great friends from our church in St. Joseph, Michigan and I'm excited Polly picked their family's name. I will be sending them a Visa gift card for $100 this afternoon.

And thanks to everyone who contributed to Evangeline's Christmas fund. We raised a total amount of $1,611.75 (combined on-line and mailed-in donations).

What a blessing! We are so much closer to getting Evie home with this money.

Stay tuned! I'm sure after all the holidays we will conjure up a new fun way to donate to our adoption.

For now, if you'd like to contribute, our page at Reece's Rainbow is still up and ready to go here .

Financial aid for our home study

2008-12-11T16:13:00.000-08:00

We just walked in the door from our third home study visit and even though there's dinner and homework and tired kids, I still just had to share. Today we were informed that our application for financial aid from our home study agency was approved and $1000 is being taken off of the amount we owe! So instead of paying $3700 total, we will pay $2700! Thank God!! And we can pay that in monthly payments.

Woohoo!

Oh, and the meeting went well too. It's funny to me how much my husband enjoys the home study sessions. I guess in a job like his, its nice to be asked questions once in a while.

Just a few more days

2008-12-08T06:37:00.000-08:00

Our Christmas gift challenge for Evangeline has only a few days left and we are half way to our goal! Polly will choose a name on December 15th.

Want to help?

-Donate

-Link our game to your blog.

-If you know anyone who would like a shot at the $100 gift card drawing or if they'd just like to help us get a little closer to bringing Evie home, sent them my way.

This is the first of our efforts to raise some funds for our international adoption. I'm sure that after the holidays there will be more opportunities.

Happy Monday!

Fingerprint appointments

2008-12-01T20:38:00.000-08:00

Our INS fingerprint appointment is this Wednesday morning, December 3rd, at 8:00AM.

This is a big part of the pre-travel paperwork puzzle.

I'm excited!

WOW!

2008-11-29T15:09:00.000-08:00

Evangeline's crib buddy, Victoria, has a family that has committed to bring her home. She has a FOREVER FAMILY! I am thrilled! We've been praying for this!

Evangeline and Victoria are a week apart in age and have always been together there at the orphanage in Eastern Europe.

And although it's not quite public yet, I know the family who has committed and they are wonderful people.

Congratulations all! We will be praying that God will provide all your needs to make this adoption come to pass! And I look forward to continuing our daughters' friendship through the years!

Thank God!